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Both genders reported clicking when their conversations were mainly about the women.
"You could say men are self-centered and women are always trying to please men and dates will go well if they talk about the guy, but it turns out that's just not true. "This is a situation in life where women have the power, women get to decide.
The dates were transcribed and computer software was used to analyze the words and speech to see if any characteristics of the language corresponded to the participants' reporting of feeling a sense of connection.
"We were looking at conversational behaviors or speech features and how they express characteristics of the social experience, how you feel about the other person," Jurafsky said.
The four-minute date, the study found, was enough time to forge a meaningful relationship – something that seemed to go beyond looks and motivation.
Is it all things that are psychological or in my head or is there actually something in how we hit it off?Mc Farland, a sociologist at Stanford's Graduate School of Education, and Jurafsky, a computational linguist, analyzed the conversations of heterosexual couples during speed dating encounters to find out why some people felt a sense of connection after the meeting and others didn't.Their paper, "Making the Connection: Social Bonding in Courtship Situations," was published this month in the American Journal of Sociology.It is very important to always be honest in your profile.Making yourself out to sound like Superman or Wonder Woman will attract a lot of attention, but you will be setting yourself up to fail by starting a relationship, even a friendship, with a lie. Show that you have room for someone in your life and give them a feel for what life with you would be like. Some people 100% will not date a smoker, or someone with children, or even a vegetarian for those that the smell of bacon cooking is like an aphrodisiac.
Women reported a sense of connection to men who used appreciative language ("That's awesome" or "Good for you") and sympathy ("That must be tough on you").