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Posted by / 25-Apr-2019 12:01

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Do you know what you respond with when your ex sends a text saying Happy Christmas/Holidays/New Years? This all goes back to why you must focus on building mutual relationships – when you match someone with their low effort and see their low effort for what it is, you don’t see gold where’s there’s copper – you see their lack of effort and the reflected results in your life and distance yourself, flush them, or know the limits of your interaction with them.

You either say nothing (it may well be a bulk message anyway), or say nothing because you’re No Contact, or say ‘Thanks and same to you’ or respond with “Happy Christmas/Holidays/New Years”. It’s not that text messages aren’t useful (I reminded the boyf to pick up milk earlier) and that in context of a relationship where there’s healthy human contact, calls, and a consistent, progressing, balanced, committed, intimate relationship with shared values and love, care, trust, and respect, you don’t need to be concerned about the use of them, but some of you are making a very large deal out of what can only be called rat dropping communication.

It’s great to get a thoughtful text from someone who is already thoughtful, that you have a great relationship with and communicate via other means.

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” Some of you are even thinking ahead and clocking up some serious energy consumption pondering what you should respond with if you get a Happy Holidays/Christmas/New Year message. There is nothing in “Happy Holidays/Great result tonight/Did you see the snow? ” that says “I love you”, “I want to get back together with you”, “I’ve changed”, “I’m sorry” or even “I’m making a great deal of effort to show you how much I care.” If you attach any of these meanings and: 1) Start imagining your future 2) Respond back by pouring out your feelings 3) Invite them around for a shag 4) Cancel your plans or put everything on hold 5) Go into a tailspin and begin ruminating about what it all means, the Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda and yada yada yada 6) Call and keep calling in the hope they’ll pick up 7) Dump your current partner 8. Likewise, if you’re the sender, you shouldn’t be expecting much either.

Turn up at their home/office/place where they hang 9) Tell them all about themselves, or 10) Contact their new partner, you’ve had a seriously disproportionate response. You might think December offers up the perfect opportunity to reach out to your ex (read: attention seek but you may pitch it to yourself as being the bigger person or a ‘good’ person), but if a text is the best you can manage, it only goes to show that you’re trying to be risk averse and generate an ‘ideal’ maximum response out of a low effort.

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