Dating advice from men male secrets
Likewise, you get a green light on keeping your lips sealed if the topic might disintegrate into hurtful, unhelpful detail.
That's especially the case if you're in the infancy of a new relationship.
"Holding back information is wholly appropriate depending on the context," says Sarah Jones, founder of the premier dating-coaching company Introverted Alpha.
It's acceptable to keep a secret to yourself when you don't feel enough trust or comfort to share, and feel it could have a negative consequence on your psyche or reputation.
Your girlfriend might wonder these things, but giving her the answer is just cruel (even if you don't mean it).
Whether you have an innocent crush or just notice your girlfriend's best friend looking like a knockout, keep it to yourself. "It'll lead to bad feelings between you and her, and potentially even with her and her best friend." You can't help who you're attracted to, but you can help whether or not you act on these feelings and what you express out loud.
Another important note: If you feel consistently negative or self-critical—and not just because of her, or other guys in your sphere of friends—then it's probably a good sign to talk to your doctor or a mental health specialist about those feelings.
Finding the root of those thoughts, and working to understand why you feel that way, is a vital step in providing a solid emotional foundation for your relationship.
But if you're feeling inferior to her brothers or insecure out with her guy friends, fight the urge to always say so."Nothing good comes out of revealing the number—on either side—ever," Gandhi says.A tiny, cynical, self-destructive part of her wants to know. If the number's high, she could feel like she doesn't stack up to your exes—or that you're a womanizer, even if you're not."A good relationship is based upon trust, honesty, and intimacy," says Bela Gandhi, founder and head coach of Smart Dating Academy, a dating consulting firm for professionals.You know the most important things about one another, know in your gut she's being honest with you, and you can trust her with anything.
"If you can grin and bear it (especially if she's superclose with the person), that's your best move," Gandhi says.